Chicago Illinois

So I did it. I put my mission papers in and i have been called to serve in the Chicago, Illinois English speaking mission. At first I wanted it to be out of the country but everyday i get closer to going the more excited I get. I don't want to go anywhere else but Chicago. I know there is someone waiting there for me. Anyways i have decided to then use this blog to show my journey to Chicago. So I'm super excited to go but I'm way nervous. Everyone keeps telling me that I will be great and do an awesome job as a missionary but how do they know that?! When you tell me I'm awesome, I gotta know why. I'm also scared of getting homesick and that was a big reason I kept pushing this mission aside (*cough cough & a boy was a big reason too cough*) but It's time to cut the umbilical cord. I ain't a baby no more. Also 1 other reason I'm excited is because no one gets this opportunity very often and I feel like I'm finally growing up and doing something on my own. Gosh and going to CHICAGO! That's amazing! I'm so very excited though to serve the lord. I know that he needs me to go there and that someone is waiting there for me.

Chicago. Illinois

                                          If I can save one person I can save a generation,


                                                                            & then my life would be meaningful.

I also made a new blog about my experiences and life in Chicago as a missionary...
www.calledtoserveinchicago.blogspot.com

why did that have to happen.

I don't understand why things happen like they do

Did you know that your one action could hurt us all

Taking advantage

You make me scared 

To be used like that

She didn't deserve that

This wont just go away

It will stay with us forever

She may forgive you but i never will

This scar will never heal

Wheres our prince charming in this world

 New warped sense on guys

Come prove me wrong

Let's try somethin new.

You know that feeling something great is gonna happen? Well I do! And that's what I'm feeling :) well maybe cause there's this guy And I kinda like him :) you know what I'm gonna let whatever happen, happen and I'm gonna take a chance on this ! :)

YOLO.

Aubrey, Me and Katie at the caves







 Wow it's been so long since i wrote on here. Well nobody probably reads this but oh well. So I officially have finished 1 year of Snow College. Woo Ho! What a crazy year. So much happened in my life. I had an awesome time at Snow tho ( well the last semester i did!) I roomed with my amazing friends Aubrey and Katie. We had crappy moments and we had awesome moments. But we were always there for each other through the good and the bad. I had tons of fun times that i will probably talk about in another post but It's funny tho because when ever one of us had a boy problem the other roommate did too. Katie and Aubrey will forever be my best friends in the world. I love them!  

Me and my best friend aubs :)

me and my girl katie :)

It's crazy to think about this time last year i was graduating and getting ready to go to college and how i hated leaving my bf ( current ex). But people are right when they say life is better out of high school. I have totally grown into this new person that i never thought i would become. For example i went to tori's bone fire and when i first got there i saw all the people in high school that annoyed me and for some reason i felt intimated by but when i got there i didn't recognize who i was. i was just talk in away and not caring what anyone else thought. i was just there to be my happy old self and have fun. I realized now that i don't care if you hate me or if you like me. that's your own problem not mine. Ive learned to let go and be carefree. you only live life once so why hold on to grudges and hate. live in the moment! Call that boy you have always liked, jump over that hurdle and ALWAYS give your best in everything you do! NEVER EVER GIVE UP and forever and always be happy with yourself. :)

Even when you fall life always gives you a second chance and it's called tomorrow.

Stop being afraid.

The only thing to fear is fear it's self.

You

Only

Live

Once

"The 2 most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why." - Mark Twain

Take every risk Drop every fear!

Go find yourself.



It Will All Work Out.

So I was pondering today and I realized why do we (mostly me) worry so much. Life really is great and life is what you make of it.

For me these past few months have been very hard. From having awful roomates, moving apartments and to being almost completely alone (well thats what I felt like). Let me explain. So I moved out of my 1st apartment because lets say the girls were not the best girls in the world. I then moved into this other apartment with one of my roomates from the 1st place. It was so great to move out. But of course this new place didn't turn out to be that great either. The roomate I had moved in with didn't like to stick around and I only had 2 other roomates. One of them was this really nice Japanese girl but she just liked to keep to herself and my other roomate was way cool but she didn't like to stick around either. So I was left with a whole apartment to myself. Ya you might think that would be awesome right? Um wrong! It sucked butt! If you don't know me already I hate being alone!! All through High School I always had a friend to hang out with or someone to walk around the halls with. I was never alone. So to go from always having friends to not really having anyone, sucked! Ya I had friends at Snow but no one really close.

This was one of the hardest trails I have ever gone through. I went through lots of lonely nights and lots of anxiety attacks. But I have amazing friends and family that helped me alot. And most importantly my Heavenly Father. I literally couldn't get through the day with out praying at least 10 times a day. Praying was usually the only time I didn't feel so alone. So I would just like to say that I'm so grateful for my awesome friends and family that have gotten me through this hardship. And for always being there for me when at times I wasn't myself.

 So when this was all going on I went home for a weekend and realized I didn't know if I could do this anymore. So as I'm crying to my mom that I hate my life my awesome friend Aubrey texts me saying shes going down to Snow next semester. I couldn't believe it. Aubrey was and still is the answer to my prayers. I had been praying and praying for a friend down here and finally it was answered. And to make everything better my roomate moved out so Aubrey could room with me! I have been so blessed! This semester at Snow has been amazing! I also got 2 more amazing roomates named Katie and Emilie. I couldn't ask for better roomates. :)

Me, Aubrey, Bria and Tarah

As weird as it is I really am grateful for this trail because it made me realize what amazing people I have in my life, the lord will always be there for me and this has made me alot stronger person. And this has also made me realize that I shouldn't depend on anyone to make me happy but myself! Life will always work out! It may not be what you want but it will be what you need! Nobody said that life would be easy but it would be worth it. :) So stop worrying! :)

I have one last thing to say... I'm sorry if I have hurt my best friend from putting all the stress and my anxiety on his shoulders and I hope that I haven't ruined our friendship. He means the world to me and if I could I would take all of it back. So i would just like to say I'm sorry.

Ewww Blogs are for Moms...

Ok ok ok i gave in. I finally got a blog. I've always thought blogs were for Moms that talked about their stupid kids and how adorable they are. Ya no one cares. Well my blog is different. My blog is about my life seen through my eyes. It's about my struggles and trials but also about my happiness and success. And yes I might whine a little... or alot depending on the day. And everyone who knows me, knows that i get annoyed with everyone so don't feel bad if i get annoyed with you. But i will try my hardest to not be to mean.  I'm writting this blog because well first of all my mom is making me. Haha just kidding mummy! :) But back to serious business, I'm writting this blog purely for me. This blog is to help me get out all of my stress, anxiety and emotions. So I can let go of my problems and finally start living my life! Well i hope you guys enjoy my blog and I would love to hear comments back.